'Twas the Night Before Opening Day...
‘Twas the night before Opening Day,
And in the ballpark sat empty stands,
To be filled by Salem Red Sox fans…
Well ladies, gentleman and non-binary friends, the official count down to opening night is on and there is less than 24 hours on the clock until I make my MiLB debut. Since I am feeling all the feels I knew I had to write about them, and share it all with you! (I like rhyming, rhyming is my favorite).
While I may seem relatively calm to the outside world, a little anxiety mixed with an abundance of excitement is running through my veins. I keep viewing our opening weekend series like a test I've been diligently studying for during the offseason. Even though I know all the answers, when I show up to the test or in this case the game, I freeze.
Fun fact about me, I have never been a great test taker. Just ask any of my former teachers and professors.
However, despite all the self doubt, a new feeling has begun to surface. Somewhere out of the blue, confidence has decided to tag along with my anxiety, nervousness and eagerness.
Since the start of my career in sports I have always struggled with imposter syndrome. I thought being in sports and hearing other women in the industry talk suffering from it as well, that it is normal. And who is to say it isn’t? So many women have come forward about it, that I accepted the self doubt and shoved it down deep with all of my other emotional baggage.
This year, in this particular job, everything feels different. So different that I don’t know if I can really capture the feeling through my words (crazy, I know). But, being surrounded by a staff who believes in me and having family and mentors cheer me on from afar, knowing that I am living out a dream that danced in my head for many nights, is just so special. Being back in baseball, all the emotions just scatter through my brain in the best ways possible.
Tomorrow is a day I have been looking forward to even before being hired by the Salem Red Sox. It will also be a day I probably won’t forget for the rest of my years. Regardless of all the preparation, I don’t even think that it has really even set in that the day is really here.
Emotions are running high, my head is in the sky and I feel like I am on cloud nine (had to bust out one more rhyme). Don’t worry, I'll let you know how I feel if I ever come back down :)